Tag: Livinglifeunusually

Anxious Livin’ is No Livin’ At All

heavily breathing

turns into 

holding my breath for so long

turns into

not breathing at all

 

realizing I’m clenching tight

my hands and my toes

tongue’s glued to the top of my mouth

lips feel wired shut

 

head down to avoid looking

to ignore the stares

from those who

just don’t get it

my thoughts run wild

from school to work to dinner

such trivial things

what’s gonna happen?

what will tomorrow be like?

frantic thinking now

start to think of the future

consciously aware

of the panic setting in

where will I be then?

my goals? a relationship?

will I have children?

will I ever get married?

I think about everything

now, and all at once

panicking, I just

shut down

back to the present

In Search of…

She’s been looking for acceptance in all the wrong places

 

Looking for familiarity in all these random faces

 

She’s been searching for love in anyone she meets

 

Nothing is found in these ever changing sheets

 

She longs for something she’s not sure exists

 

Love? Happiness? She’s not quite sure what it is

 

She questions her choices and her motives

 

She hates that despite it all, she always feels so broken

No Good Answers

Why do we hold onto things that make us sad?

Talk to those who make us mad?

Why do we look for happiness in others?

When we know it’ll only cause us to suffer?

Why do we put someone else’s needs ahead of our own?

Is it because we believe it’ll help out self love grow?

Why do we stay with people who don’t care?

Is it because we just want someone, anyone, to be there?