holding my breath for so long
not breathing at all
realizing I’m clenching tight
my hands and my toes
tongue’s glued to the top of my mouth
lips feel wired shut
head down to avoid looking
to ignore the stares
from those who
just don’t get it
my thoughts run wild
from school to work to dinner
such trivial things
what’s gonna happen?
what will tomorrow be like?
frantic thinking now
start to think of the future
of the panic setting in
where will I be then?
my goals? a relationship?
will I have children?
will I ever get married?
I think about everything
now, and all at once
panicking, I just
back to the present
She’s been looking for acceptance in all the wrong places
Looking for familiarity in all these random faces
She’s been searching for love in anyone she meets
Nothing is found in these ever changing sheets
She longs for something she’s not sure exists
Love? Happiness? She’s not quite sure what it is
She questions her choices and her motives
She hates that despite it all, she always feels so broken
Why do we hold onto things that make us sad?
Talk to those who make us mad?
Why do we look for happiness in others?
When we know it’ll only cause us to suffer?
Why do we put someone else’s needs ahead of our own?
Is it because we believe it’ll help out self love grow?
Why do we stay with people who don’t care?
Is it because we just want someone, anyone, to be there?