Category: Haiku

Anxious Livin’ is No Livin’ At All

heavily breathing

turns into 

holding my breath for so long

turns into

not breathing at all

 

realizing I’m clenching tight

my hands and my toes

tongue’s glued to the top of my mouth

lips feel wired shut

 

head down to avoid looking

to ignore the stares

from those who

just don’t get it

my thoughts run wild

from school to work to dinner

such trivial things

what’s gonna happen?

what will tomorrow be like?

frantic thinking now

start to think of the future

consciously aware

of the panic setting in

where will I be then?

my goals? a relationship?

will I have children?

will I ever get married?

I think about everything

now, and all at once

panicking, I just

shut down

back to the present

Write, Release, Repeat

Please put that damned pen down”

 

Go talk to someone”

 

not realizing writing helps

 

I don’t want to talk

 

don’t want to sit in a chair

 

just to talk about

 

emotional attachment

 

just to see someone judge me 

 

for not moving on

 

to feel awkward when I cry

 

I’d rather write down

 

the way I feel, without shame

 

without the stigma

 

of someone from the outside

 

forcing themselves to dig in