heavily breathing

turns into 

holding my breath for so long

turns into

not breathing at all

 

realizing I’m clenching tight

my hands and my toes

tongue’s glued to the top of my mouth

lips feel wired shut

 

head down to avoid looking

to ignore the stares

from those who

just don’t get it

my thoughts run wild

from school to work to dinner

such trivial things

what’s gonna happen?

what will tomorrow be like?

frantic thinking now

start to think of the future

consciously aware

of the panic setting in

where will I be then?

my goals? a relationship?

will I have children?

will I ever get married?

I think about everything

now, and all at once

panicking, I just

shut down

back to the present

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